Day 19: Proekt 365 (That which makes me smile)

Day 19: Proekt 365 That which makes me smile

Day 19: Proekt 365
That which makes me smile

Today has not gone at all to plan. At. All.

Largely my own doing, I’ve had a tedious, frustrating, would-rather-pull-the-covers-over-my-head sort of day. I’m behind and staring down the barrel of a deadline, I’m not feeling at all my best (sniff, sniff, cough, cough) and, quite frankly, I’d love nothing better than to pound my fists on my keyboard and desk rather than gently punch the keys at the moment. Yeap, not a great day.

Then, there’s the image above. My darling husband and cheeky cat have been incredibly patient all day with me. The Cuban quietly left the flat at the best of moments (largely because I was impossible and I suspect it was better out in the arctic blast than inside listening to me and my monumental meltdown of sighs and whines). Upon his return, I finally pulled myself away from the chains of my desk for a few moments to catch these two lovely beasts of mine in this pose.

How could my day not immediately improve?

It’s still a rather crappy day (again, mea culpa). But, it’s bearable due in large measure to the moments of loveliness and silliness my little furry family provides.

Thanks, my darlings! I couldn’t do it without you, and tomorrow will be infinitely better!

Day 18: Proekt 365 (Even when we’re sad)

Day 18: Proekt 365 Cheeky Che Fufu. Need I say more?

Day 18: Proekt 365
Cheeky Che Fufu. Need I say more?

We’re not in the happiest of moods today. A very early morning finds us awake and readying for Jr Cuban’s departure. We’re all sad.

And, then there’s this. Our darling beast of a cat, who is sassy, cheeky, silly and utterly uncatlike most of the time. Vying for some early morning affection, I caught her in this pose. This is not an unusual pose.

After we return from the airport one human (aka tool) short, she’ll be just as needy and sad as us humans are. This is why we love her so. She is an extension of us. Yet, even when we just want to curl up in little balls and cry our eyes out, she has the ability to make us smile / laugh / giggle wildly.

Thank you, Che Fufu. We’re still hoping to clone you.

Day 17: Proekt 365 (A little something for the journey)

Day 17: Proekt 365 Brownies for the long journey home

Day 17: Proekt 365
Brownies for the long journey home

In another familiar ‘tradition’, the last night of my step-son’s visit has me baking brownies for him to take along on his long journey home tomorrow. It isn’t nearly as far as his grandfather’s journey was this past summer, but I did the same thing for El Maestro a few months ago. And, now as was the case then, I am filled with a mixture of happiness and sadness — delight that they want the brownies; sad that they will be leaving Finland much, much too soon.

I may not be able to have long philosophical conversations with either of them, but I can (and will always gladly) cook for them. Hopefully, regardless of where they eat them, both El Maestro and The Jr Cuban know that those brownies were made with a heaps of love. And, maybe, just a tiny tear or two dropped into them as well.

Where an ‘I love you’ text is a crime

A week ago, a man in Cameroon died. Roger Jean-Claude Mbede, who was only 34 years young, died of complications and lack of treatment for a hernia. As if this wasn’t tragic enough, Roger died needlessly and senselessly after having to live in hiding and knowing that his family wanted to remove the ‘curse’ which plagued him. Why?

Because he was gay.

Roger was jailed under Cameroon’s anti-gay legislation in 2011 for sending a text message to a man which read, ‘I’m very much in love with you’. He was sentenced to three years in prison, and later released on medical grounds. He lived in hiding upon release and some reports suggest he was barred from receiving medical treatment. Even his family said that it would be better to just let him die.

Because he was gay. Because he loved a man and declared that love.

There are far, far too many countries in which individuals who do not fit the ‘norm’ face criminal charges for simply declaring an emotion which should bring joy, happiness and hope. Depending upon how you classify both country and legislation, a total of 83 countries (84 if you count Russia) have laws which place strict limitations on the human rights freedoms to those citizens who are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender. That’s 84 too many. Imagine living in a place where you cannot declare your love for another human being. Where you cannot show your love for another human being. Where you are not free to love and show that love for whom you wish.

With all of the attention Russia and President Putin have been quite rightly getting given the upcoming Olympic games, perhaps we can also shine a spotlight on all those other countries in which LGBT men and women face prison, discrimination and stigma on a daily basis simply for being who they are. This includes Cameroon, Nigeria, Uganda and 35 other African nations (although the Ugandan law has not been signed by the president as of this morning). These are only the countries from one continent in which laws exist making it a crime to be gay. Let’s not forget the Americas, Asia, and, yes, Europe. As we in the developed North applaud the steady march towards marriage equality in the United States, the spread of laws which criminalise homosexuality continue and with them stigma, discrimination and hatred become more common and, in a way, legally sanctioned and institutionalised.

Despite Putin’s claims that the Sochi games will be welcoming to all athletes and free of discrimination in any form, what about the remainder of Russia outside the Olympic bubble? Actions, and in this particular case, legislation speak infinitely louder than words. So loud in fact that 27 Nobel laureates and Sir Ian McKellen (aka Gandalf) have penned a letter asking President Putin to reconsider the anti-gay propaganda law. Once the Olympic torch is extinguished, I’m dubious that anything will change, and suspect that things for Russia’s LGBT community may in fact become more grim.

But, what of those other countries in which the laws are even harsher? What of those countries who punish their LGBT citizens with decades long or even life prison sentences? What of those countries where being gay carries the death penalty? Where is the outrage? Where is the international support? Where are the protest letters from those 27 Nobel laureates and knighted actors?

In some parts of the world, undoubtedly we’ve come a long, long way towards making it safe and legal for all to love whom they love, openly and without fear (or, as it should be). But, as the senseless and tragic case of Roger Jean-Claude Mbede illustrates all too cruelly, we still have a very long way to go.

The Anti-Gay World (pinched from Buzzfeed)

The Anti-Gay World
(pinched from Buzzfeed)

Day 16: Proekt 365 (Like father, like son)

Day 16: Proekt 365 Despite distance and time, the similarites are profound

Day 16: Proekt 365
Despite distance and time, these two are so much alike

‘Like father, like son’. That phrase has been on constant repeat this week much as it was this past summer when my father-in-law visited us. Neither time nor distance can alter the similarities between these three generations of men. Perhaps, ‘like father, like son, like son’ is more appropriate.

The Jr Cuban is a young man now, and his own young man at that. He’s changed so much in the few years since we’ve seen him last and has ‘grown up’. His own young man he may be, but he is definitely The Jr Cuban. Witnessing the little cues and hints that he is my husband’s son through the unconscious expressions and behaviours is such a treat. As one example, they both wore the exact same expressions when I was taking a series of photos yesterday. Exactly the same. How does that happen, particularly when The Jr Cuban is with us far too infrequently?

This summer on a long walk with the elder Cuban (aka El Maestro) when he was visiting us, I witnessed my husband (The Cuban) doing exactly the same thing his son does when they are peripatetically bonding. It was an instant and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It made The Jr Cuban’s behaviour so much more relevant and meaningful. There have been other moments when I’ve seen all three of them exhibit subtle cues that they are indeed all part of a longer thread separated only by time. Each observation brings a mixture of smiles and tears — these seemingly insignificant behaviours are normally the things I love most about my husband (and also those which drive me crazy at times!).

Like father, like son, like son.

It’s a shame all three of them can’t be here at the same time. Of course, it’d also probably be the end of every last hair on my head since getting out the door requires infinitely more patience than I am ever going to be capable of (which also makes me smile!). Still, any visit is better than no visit at all. And, I’m loving this one.

I may not ‘get’ 95% of what is going on (my Spanish is non-existent, and they speak incredibly quickly). But, I see that they ‘get’ one another. At the end of the day, that’s most important. From their adoring concern for Che Fufu, to discussions of the best type of cheese for pastelitos de guayaba, parkour and more pressing and touchy (as well as necessary) topics, the sound of these two bonding (The Cuban and Jr Cuban) is like music. And, a sweeter melody exists nowhere. (Well, except perhaps the dulcet tones of El Maestro and The Cuban bonding… .)

I love these men who are now my family. Oh, what a family it is.

Day 15: Proekt 365 (Solitary bus rides)

Day 15: Proekt 365 A solitary bus rides with stunning views

Day 15: Proekt 365
A solitary bus rides with stunning views

I am continually amazed by two things in Finland: the incredible efficiency of the region’s public transport system, and stunning views and scenery when you least expect them.

Since we don’t drive in Finland, lacking both a car and a driver’s licence between us, we are completely dependent upon the public transportation system. Not only do trams, buses, and trains for Helsinki’s commuters go just about everywhere, a fantastic journey planner website (which is also available in English and available as a mobile application for various smartphone platforms) makes mapping out a route incredibly easy. We’re especially fortunate to have several routes which make reaching just about anywhere in the region quite simple. This makes getting around very easy for the car-less couple.

It’s rather amazing as well what you can see from various buses. People watching is always a treat. But, the scenery in Southern Finland can be particularly lovely. The views today traveling from downtown Helsinki to Espoo were absolutely stunning. With plentiful, bright winter sunshine falling across the frozen bays, the time on my journey passed all too quickly.

It’s a treat to live here on days like today. I can easily see how the quality of life for Finns is rated so highly so consistently.

Day 14: Proekt 365 (The lower the temp, the brighter the sun)

Day 14: Proekt 365 Sub-zero temps mean clear skies

Day 14: Proekt 365
Sub-zero temps mean clear skies

Stumbling out of bed this morning required the immediate addition of several layers of warm clothing. As I made my way to the coffee, I peeped at the thermometer outside our kitchen window: -17C (that’s 1.4F for those of you not using the metric system). Yes, it’s freezing; but, beyond the cold, we have clear, blue skies and sunshine!

A week ago, Helsinki temps were hovering just above freezing and the days were darker than dark given the constant cloud cover, persistent rain and lack of snow. I don’t mind telling you that everyone was in a foul mood, myself included. Meanwhile, many parts of North America, suffering the great Polar Vortex of 2014, were experiencing the sort of temperatures and weather common for Helsinki this time of year. It was odd.

One week on, we’ve had a very tiny bit of snow to brighten things up even with clouds, and the mercury has plummeted. This is winter. And, with winter and the colder temps, we get winter sun, which is a very much welcome sight.

Day 13: Proekt 365 (‘Community’)

Day 13: Proekt 365 An unexpected gift from folks in my 'community'

Day 13: Proekt 365
An unexpected gift from folks in my ‘community’

One of my favourite spots in Helsinki is a yarn shop, Snurre. It’s not my favourite simply because of the yarn it stocks; it’s my favourite because of the people who own and run it—Anne and Mikko.

I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Snurre as a customer, teaching knitting classes, at various knitting / crafting events and to help celebrate milestones in the store’s brief history thus far. It’s evolved incredibly since opening a little over two years ago, and I’m thrilled to see this local shop doing so well. It’s a great place to spend a little time with fellow crafters and in fine, fine company. In addition to being a place my knitting friends and I enjoy going together, I’ve made a few new friends there as well.

Obviously, Anne and Mikko are two such friends. Today, they surprised me with a holiday gift (above) that was so, so unnecessary, and so incredibly thoughtful. Wine and yarn. And, knitting needles for the yarn. (Like I said: perfect!) I am touched beyond words once again, not just by their generosity, but that they have included me in their community.

There are plenty of yarn shops in Helsinki, but Snurre will always be special to me because of Anne and Mikko. Always ready to greet those who enter warmly and with friendly and genuine smiles. Always ready to help those who enter find just what they are looking for. And, always interested, genuinely interested, in how you are doing and what’s new — not just in the world of all things fibre, but in life in general. Because of their sincerity and the care with which they treat those of us who return again and again and because they are such great people overall, I’ll do whatever I can to support their business and to help it thrive. As members of a ‘community’ of crafters, it’s a great thing to have Snurre amongst the tribe and the go-to place for all one’s fibre needs. And, it’s a local business I feel incredibly good about supporting in whatever way I can because they make the community a better place.

Thanks, Anne and Mikko, for your kindness! And, thanks for helping make me feel so incredibly welcome in your community!

Day 12: Proekt 365 (Flowers & Fish in Snow)

Day 12: Proekt 365 A friend sent me this pic which combines snow and a yarn bomb. Perfection.

Day 12: Proekt 365
A friend sent me this pic which combines snow and a yarn bomb. Perfection.

It is sooooo much brighter today with just a few centimetres of fresh snow on the ground. The day was made brighter still when my friend Andrea sent the picture above of a yarn bomb a few of us did several months ago (on 16 November, to be exact). That it has survived this long is quite impressive. That it is still hanging as the snow falls is an added bonus.

Knit and crochet flowers and fish adorn this fence along the shoreline at the southern edge of Helsinki. Hopefully, along with the freshly fallen snow, they’ll brighten up the day for all who pass by. It certainly makes my day more cheerful, even if just viewed as a photo. Thank you, Andrea!

Come on, Texas. Really?

I’ve written before about my connection to that most unique state, Texas. Today’s post sadly isn’t one which fills me with state pride.

Since seeing the tragic news a few days ago about Marlise Munoz, a 33-year-old brain dead woman who is forcibly being kept alive to serve, quite bluntly, as an incubator, has me speechless. Ms Munoz by all accounts is unable to live without full life support and will not recover. Her husband and parents want to take her off of life support and have wished to do so since learning that there is no brain stem activity. She herself had previously said that she did not want to be kept alive in a vegetative state. So, why is she now on life support against the wishes of her family and her own living will?

She was 14-weeks pregnant when she collapsed.

In Texas, life-sustaining treatment can not be withdrawn or withheld from a pregnant woman regardless of how far along she is in her pregnancy. As of 2012, similar strict laws surrounding end-of-life care for pregnant women existed in 12 states in the US, according to a 2012 study by the Centre for Women Policy Studies. (These states are Alabama, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan, Missouri, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, Washington, and Wisconsin.) Thus, even if an advance directive exists stipulating that a woman does not wish to remain on life support if she is considered brain dead, the state has the right to keep her on life-sustaining support if she is pregnant. Her wishes for a dignified death are unimportant and she is essentially rendered an incubator. This is precisely what has happened to Ms Munoz.

Had she been further along in her pregnancy, I might find this more understandable. But, she was still in her first trimester when she was classified as ‘legally’ dead. She suffered from a lack of oxygen for an extended period of time, which most likely also affected the foetus. But, nevermind that.

What really gets me is the medical bills. Since it is the hospital’s decision to keep Ms Munoz on life support , you would think that the costs would fall on the administration. No. The bills will ultimately go to her family. With an average cost of US$4004 per day, already the bill is quite steep (~US$170 000 already at least). And, that’s just for the intensive care unit bill. But, this does not necessarily include the costs of the ambulance, emergency room and other various services and service providers, specialists, etc. undoubtedly used since she first collapsed on 26 November. All of these add to that already hefty bill and in the absence of a national healthcare system. For what?

My understanding is that, currently, the hospital is waiting until the foetus has developed further to determine if they will keep Ms Munoz on life support further and what additional actions they will take. Should tests reveal that the foetus is brain dead, what next? Who will be responsible for providing long-term care to that foetus/infant? The family? Or the hospital? Or the state of Texas?

Without delving into the pro-life / pro-choice debate, this case in particular fills me with sadness for the family of Ms Munoz, but also for Ms Munoz herself. Her dignity as a human and as a woman specifically has been diminished so greatly. She expressed her wishes to not be put on life support should she lose brain function. Her wishes have been ignored completely all for the sake of a foetus which may or may not survive to birth, and may or may not itself be brain dead.

In the words of her father, she is a ‘host’ at this point, not a woman or a mother. In cases like this, it’s hard to see that women are valued within society as anything but incubators when the rights of a foetus are placed so clearly above those of the mother. And, if we can fight so fiercely for the well-being of a foetus before it enters the world, why do we not then provide that same level of care and concern for the child it becomes?

Clearly, medical technology has advanced at an amazing rate, so much so that the ethics of our options have not completely sunk in and we have yet to philosophically ponder let alone come up with solutions / answers which work for all of us given our varied beliefs and moral compasses. Yet, I would hope that we would at the very least put the dignity of an individual, especially when spelled out when one is capable of still making such decisions, above all else.

For now, my thoughts are with the Munoz family. Suffering such a loss is bad enough. Having to relive it each and every day in such a viscous, callous and myopic way is unthinkable. May they be able to finally and definitively grieve sooner rather than later.