Category Archives: Inspiration

Gentle reminders…

by in Everyday Life, Inspiration, Random musings | Leave a comment

The past few weeks (months?) have been an exercise in plodding through and continuing onward. To what and where are not exactly clear, but that’s secondary.

As I continue to process ‘life’ for want of a better descriptive and work through various ‘issues’, I share two links which I have gone back to repeatedly in the past few days.

First, a gentle and beautiful reminder to us all from the lovely Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush:

Give those near and dear to you a hug and tell them that you love them and appreciate them and are proud of who they are. You never know when your chance to do so one last time has passed. Or, simply listen and know that you are not alone.

Second, a quick read which provides much fodder for all of us and an incredibly useful inventory of steps which have absolutely zero to do with flat abs. I don’t think any of these steps are particularly easy; but I do think we could all benefit from taking them to heart and attempting to make them a part of our daily lives and mindset. I know I could. If doing so leads to flatter abs, m’okay.

So Very Unexpected, So Incredibly Welcome

by in Everyday Life, family, Helsinki, Inspiration and tagged | 6 Comments

Eight years ago, on an ordinary day in my then-home Moscow, I met a man who loved great music and wanted to share it with the world.

He had a quick wit, a wicked sense of humor, and a commitment to social and economic justice that completely inspired me. He was kind, gentle, strong beyond his own awareness, and conveyed a quiet calmness which immediately enfolded those around him.

The first time we hung out, he described himself as just a ‘tropical fish out of water’. Indeed.

Our courtship was short and sweet. What was there to really ‘decide’? The Cuban and the American who met in Moscow were simply meant to be. As cliche as our story is and as unexpected as meeting him was, his entry into my life was more than welcome — it was necessary.

On this day two years ago, we finally took the plunge and made it official. In the Helsinki Courthouse on a bright, warm, late-August day, we became husband and wife. It was a small, intimate ceremony and at moments a bit silly, but it was all us.

The last eight years have been more meaningful because of the man with whom I share my life. It hasn’t always been easy — but, not because of the two of us, just because life isn’t always rainbows and unicorns. I can’t imagine having gone through it with any other person on the planet. I wouldn’t want to.

Rather fittingly, the night before we married, we spent a delightful evening seeing music we both love—AfroCubism. For anyone who doesn’t know the story of how a group of insanely talented musicians from Mali and Cuba joined forces to create some of the most beautiful sounds around, it’s a tale of impossible odds and years of patience and waiting for a dream to become a reality. Perhaps that is why we love them so.  It was a perfect bridge between ‘co-habitating’ and ‘married’.

He is my best friend, my family, my hero, and my moral compass. He understands my fears and insecurities better than anyone and can bring a smile to my face when all I want to do is cry. As unlikely as a couple as we are, I cannot imagine spending every day of my life with any other individual than the man from Cuba with the insatiable quest for great music who stole my heart and captured my imagination on an ordinary night in Moscow.

Happy anniversary, Tweetie! Here’s to us…and wherever this life takes us next.

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Dare to Defy the Impossible

by in Activism, Everyday Life, Inspiration, Random musings and tagged , , | Leave a comment

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about possibilities and if anything is really impossible. A quote by Nelson Mandela has been stuck in my head for most of this week:

It always seems impossible until it’s done.

This lead me on a quest to find other quotes which speak of defying seemingly insurmountable odds and spitting in the face of the naysayers. Here are a few of my favourites:

‘Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be’. ―Shel Silverstein

‘Never say that you can’t do something, or that something seems impossible, or that something can’t be done, no matter how discouraging or harrowing it may be; human beings are limited only by what we allow ourselves to be limited by: our own minds. We are each the masters of our own reality; when we become self-aware to this: absolutely anything in the world is possible.

Master yourself, and become king of the world around you. Let no odds, chastisement, exile, doubt, fear, or ANY mental virii prevent you from accomplishing your dreams. Never be a victim of life; be it’s conqueror.’ ― Mike Norton

‘If nature has taught us anything it is that the impossible is probable’. ― Ilyas Kassam

‘Many things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.’ ― Louis Dembitz Brandeis

‘My dear, just because something seems implausible doesn’t make it impossible. Think about how long people believed the world was flat.’ ― Angela Henry, The Paris Secret

‘Start by doing what is necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.’ ― Francis of Assisi

That last by Francis of Assisi particularly speaks to me. There are so many moments when just starting out and doing the tiniest of tasks resulted in possibilities which then accomplished what had at one point seemed impossible. It’s a nice a reminder to us all, and can serve as a gentle reminder to simply break any larger task which seems impossible into the various necessary components. Before long, we’ll be achieving the impossible. Nice!

And, then there’s this gem, from Dejan Stojanovic, which is simply perfect:

‘Possible impossibility emerges
From an impossible possibility,
Or possibly, impossible possibility
Blooms from the impossibly possible impossibility’.

However you define ‘impossible’ and regardless of what obstacles you think stand in your way, just get on with it. Dare to dream and dare to defy the odds. Then, everything is possible. And, the possibilities are endless.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Hooray for moms!

by in Everyday Life, Expat life, family, Helsinki, Inspiration, women and tagged | 1 Comment

I am continually amazed at just how awesome today’s moms are. Since moving to Finland, we  met some pretty amazing people, including talented and intelligent women and their incredibly inquisitive and lovely children.

This is my homage to them.

Perhaps it is because we live in the best place on the planet to be a mother or simply a consequence of age, but most of the women I know here have children, many of whom are young kids. (As I write, I’m anxiously awaiting news of the arrival of one friend’s baby girl!) From the newest editions to the planet’s population to young adults embarking on epic journeys, each of these families have enriched our lives and our time in Finland immensely.

Finland is a pretty fabulous place to have kids. From the incredible landscape and clean, well-organised environment to the impressive system of health and social services, families are well provided for and supported. Recently, the Finnish tradition of providing a box of clothes, baby supplies, and other necessities which in turn can serve as a baby bed was spotlighted in the media, and even sent to the royalist of families before the arrival of their own little bundle of joy. Finland makes it easier to be a parent and evens the odds for all as much as possible for each new life. Those are all great things.

But, that doesn’t mean that being a mother is at all easy or without its challenges. The demands of contemporary life—busy social calendars all situated in a foreign land and/or in multiple languages—are enough to exhaust (and at times frustrate) anyone. Add into this mix children particularly young ones, and I honestly don’t know how today’s expat moms survive with their sanity in tact! What’s more, many of the super moms I know either have husbands who travel a LOT and/or also have their own careers and jobs to juggle as well.

Nevermind the cape — I often imagine these women with two heads (to accommodate what I’d imagine as the necessary brain power to keep everything in its proper intellectual place) and more tentacles than a school of octopi!

Mutants they are not. They’re just fabulous women who love their children, and are shaping amazing little people. It’s an absolute honour to spend time with all these amazing moms and children. Whilst I don’t have photos of them all, I’ve included a few of the moments I’ve been fortunate to share with these fantastic families. Thank you for all that you do and for sharing your lives with us!

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Don’t mess with Texas women

by in Activism, Inspiration, Sexual & Reproductive Health & Rights (SRHR), women and tagged | 1 Comment

I am a Texas woman.

There. I said it.

To my Texan brethren, I am a Yankee. Fine. I’m a Texan Yankee. Whatever.

But, I was born in Brenham, Tx, home to the finest ice cream on the planet, and descend from the men and women who defended the Alamo long before Texas was a part of the United States. There is nothing more beautiful to me than a field filled with Texas bluebonnets. Nothing. Texas, as much as it completely baffles me, is still home. And, I am proud of my family’s heritage in the history of that most enigmatic of states. The steaks do taste better. The mosquitoes are gigantic. The TexMex is the finest anywhere (of course — ‘Texas’ is right there in the name!), and the margaritas flow bigger and colder than anywhere I’ve ever been.

All of these things are now things which fill me with a sense of pride at my Texan heritage.

I lost the accent long ago (something about being 3 and sounding incredibly different to all the other kids made that a lightning-fast loss), and I talk faster than a Texas twister I’ve been told on more than one occasion. I was a vegetarian for many years to the utter disbelief of some. Once I became active and cognizant of the political sphere as an undergraduate, I became not just a {gasp} Democrat, but a god-less liberal (resulting in many a family ‘intervention’ at holidays and visits). I do not own a gun, nor do I hunt. When I still had a car, I drove a Japanese car. And, I lived far, far North of the Mason-Dixon line when I last lived in the US.

Perhaps the parts of that heritage which resonate most soundly with me, however, are the attitudes and sass of just about everyone I know there, which rival none. We like our sass as big as our trucks and hats — super sized. The two phrases in my own family which carried the most meaning were ‘Don’t mess with Texas’ and ‘Don’t cross Grandma’. (My dearest darling grandmother, Katharine, to whom I owe much of my own personality now, was the strongest, most intelligent woman I’ve ever known. And, she was Texan through and through.)

Despite the many reasons I am proud of being a Texas woman by birth, yesterday’s utter insanity in the state Senate (along with Texas politics, in general) is a big reason why I am reluctant to shout my heritage from the rooftops.

For those sleeping under rocks or completely tuned out from all news and media outlets, the Texas Senate was poised on Tuesday to pass a sweeping bill which would eliminate 37 of the 42 clinics in the state that provide abortion services to Texas women*. (They are also acting incredibly fast to enact legislation which would make it harder for poor and minority citizens to vote in elections.) This is the state whose Governor refuses to expand Medicaid services with federal funds, despite having one of the highest percentages of uninsured individuals in the country. This is also the state in which spending on family planning services across the board were cut by two-thirds in 2011. Thus, not only will Texas women be unable to access abortion services, they won’t be able to prevent unintended pregnancies to prevent the necessity of seeking such services. Social benefits are hard to come by for poor Texans given the state’s largely conservative mentality.

Despite not living there for a long, long while, as a Texas woman I’d like to thank Senator Wendy Davis for her courageous and sadly necessary attempt to thwart the insanity in the state Senate yesterday. Even if ‘dirty tactics’ by the state GOP circumvent her filibuster, she stood up for all women across Texas and we witnessed the tenacity and bravery of a woman who said ‘no more’. And, she did so with grace, dignity and quiet contemplation. She did so in the tradition of those who fought for Texas Independence at the Alamo so long ago and gave us reasons to be proud of our heritage and state.

State Senator Wendy Davis is a hero among ‘thieves’ (in this case, thieves = Texas GOP politicians), to adapt and borrow a favourite phrase. And, she stood with honour yesterday, and provides yet another reason for me to be proud to be a Texan. And, prouder still be a Texan woman.

I #StandwithWendy and all Texas women, even those with whom I disagree.

I #StandwithWendy and all Texas women, even those with whom I disagree. (Image from Sarah Baker @bakerbk)

*I don’t want to go into the whole abortion debate, which is basically impossible here. To me, it’s no one’s business but a woman’s. What she chooses to do is between her and her doctor and partner. That’s all I’m saying here.

Knitta, please….

by in Activism, Helsinki, Inspiration, Knitting and tagged , , | 1 Comment

Several years ago, a very close friend of mine gave me a set of knitting needles. It had been decades since I’d done anything craft-like, but I was inspired to pick up the hobby again. Little did I realise that that ‘gift’ would lead to an almost obsessive love affair with all things needle and yarn. (Thank you so, so much, Brad!)

Whilst I thoroughly enjoy creating items which serve a purpose—that is, hats, scarves, blankets, jumpers, etc.—guerrilla knitting fits with my overall philosophy in life in general. Guerrilla knitting—or yarn bombing and yarn graffiti—has taken root in many knitting circles as a way to bring a bit of beauty to urban landscapes through the simple act of leaving a colourful knit or crocheted fibre object on existing structures. Guerrilla knitting began with the works of a Houston-based self-taught knitter Magda Sayeg, also known as PolyCotN, who formed the group Knitta Please in 2005. Originally intended as a way to deal with unfinished projects or objects (which are affectionately known as UFOs amongst the yarn-obsessed), guerrilla knitters target public architecture such as lampposts, parking metres, telephone poles and signage with the mission of making street art ‘a little more warm and fuzzy’.

Think of it as fibre community activism.

Last summer, I engaged in my first yarn bomb. My own local knitting group has long discussed yarn bombing the city’s landscape with knit fish or kippers. Given that we knit in public, and the acronym most commonly used by the group is KIPpers, fish are an appropriate mascot. After finishing one of my larger projects and looking for a suitable purpose for the insane number of tiny leftover balls of yarn, I decided to knit a bunch of fish. As I was doing so, I came up with the idea of creating an aquarium at our local bus stop.

On a sunny Sunday summer afternoon, my husband and I strung up about 40-something knit fish and a few bits of crocheted ‘seaweed’ to go along with the fish. To our delight, that first yarn bomb remained in tact for the neighbours to enjoy for about two months. We both spied individuals gazing at the fish, taking pictures with their kids or just looking at it with puzzled looks and quiet smiles. It was a treat to see.

Another fellow KIPper has taken yarn bombing with the group’s mascots to an international level, leaving fish and signs in Iceland, Denmark and Germany along with those strung and hung in Finland since last summer. Just doing our part to bring smiles and a bit of fibre joy to the masses, you could say.

More recently, some of the ladies from my local KIPpers group decided to combine our love of fibre with a bit of civil disobedience in support of social justice. Marriage equality has been on the political agenda in earnest here in Finland this year, with various groups gathering signatures to demand a debate and vote in Parliament making marriage equality a right for all. As a part of that, we decided to yarn bomb Parliament with rainbow-themed knit triangles.

I suppose you could say this is simply our way of trying to make the world a little bit better for everyone and a little lovelier as well.

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Why I Walk…

by in Activism, Health, Inspiration, women and tagged , | 1 Comment

Today was the annual Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. This event takes place each autumn and is used to raise awareness and much-needed funding for research on breast cancer in Finland. I’ve taken part in the walk physically three years now, and at least supported the walk if I wasn’t able to attend it every years since 2008.

I won’t be missing any future years if at all possible.

One of the reasons it was a special day both this year and last revolved around sharing the event with dear friends who are breast cancer survivors. One of friend was in the middle of her chemotherapy treatment during last year’s walk and bravely and courageously walked the longer route through Helsinki despite not feeling at all at her best. This year she’s doing fantastic, she’s finished chemo, and she continues to amaze and marvel providing endless amounts of inspiration to many. This year was additionally special as another dear friend celebrated the official notice that she is cured of her own battle against breast cancer which started five years ago.

I honestly can’t imagine life without either of these two brilliant women, and I’m incredibly grateful and humbled to share the day with them.

The day was even more poignant when I arrived home to find a message from an old friend who is now beginning her own battle against breast cancer. It may have been years since I’ve seen her, but this news hit me hard and brought home once again just how precious life and time are. I hope she knows I’m with her, even if not physically there.

For the three women above, and for the other women who have fought and won, as well as those who have sadly lost, their individual battles against breast cancer, I will walk. With hope and the dedication of those who dedicate their own lives to finding a cure, may we be a few steps closer to eliminating it finally and definitively.

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Homage to the Annoying Bird of Spring

by in Environment, Inspiration and tagged , , , | 1 Comment

The first signs of spring in the far North are not green shoots peeping through on their way to becoming tulips or daffodils. Nor are they the green buds of new leaves popping out on the long-barren trees. Nope. We await the first calls of what we have come to know as the ‘annoying* bird of spring’.

When we lived in Moscow, some time in late February as the days grew noticeably longer and the sun finally peeped through the clouds after months of darkness and persistent snowfall, we would hear the call outside our flat. Our first reaction was invariably, ‘Was it…? Could it be’?! Then, we’d hear it loud and clear and know that all would once again be right in the world and the snow would eventually stop falling. The call was annoying in its repetition. And, annoying because we had no idea what the bloody bird looked like. Try as we might to find the annoying bird of spring upon hearing its signal of hope, we failed.

When we moved to Helsinki and landed our lovely flat in a wooded area with plenty of birds about, we were delighted to discover the call of the annoying bird of spring once again after one of the hardest winters we’d ever endured. It wasn’t so much that winter was colder than Moscow or that there was more snow; it is simply infinitely darker than anything we’d ever thought possible. The sound of our old friend delighted us no end, and told us we had survived. Spring was on its way finally and the darkness would give way to sunshine, green leaves and the long days of summer.

Yet, we still were unable to see the owner of that annoying, yet welcomed call year after year. ‘We hear you’, we would cry to our friend. ‘But, what do you look like?!’

My darling husband in particular has been obsessed with discovering the identity of that great signaler of spring. As his obsession was reaching epic proportions, I heard the most delighted shout, ‘I found it! The annoying bird of spring! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!’

Thanks to the a series by the BBC, Lolo’s Secret Life of Birds, and after close to five years, we’ve finally discovered the identity of our fowl, feathered friend.

We give you, the great tit.

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The incredible irony is that on any given day, many of these lovely little creatures can be found perched on our very own balcony greedily claiming their treats from our bird feeder. A few days ago, I looked out and there were no less than seven of the cheeky little buggers sat along the railing!

All this time, what we assumed were finches were in actuality our beloved annoying birds of spring! To us, the great tit will always be the annoying bird of spring. And, its song will always bring a smile to our faces. But, its nice to know its true identity.

*NB: We don’t actually think this bird is annoying in any way. In fact, we love this bird and its song in particular.

Hope Where There Is None

by in Activism, HIV, Human Rights, Inspiration and tagged , , | Leave a comment

For more than eight years, Moscow, Russia was my home.

As cliche as it is, I learned more about myself in that time than I ever thought possible, met amazing people along the way, and discovered a place that had been mythological in my post-Cold War imagination. As a child of the ’80s, Russians were ‘the enemy’. At moments during my stay there, they took on that persona to a tee. However, that was the exception, and I loved my life in Moscow and wouldn’t trade any of the time I spent there. So many individuals welcomed me as the ‘silly American’, and I miss the daily interaction with them despite the difficulties inherent in contemporary Russian life.

Perhaps that’s why it pains me to hear of how little things have changed in the five years since I left. Russia has the dubious distinction of being one of the few remaining countries in which the HIV epidemic continues to expand. What’s more, it has occupied one of the worst of all statistics as the country with the fastest growing epidemic in the history of the global pandemic. That is not an accolade any country should aspire to and most governments would take action to remedy it quickly.

That hasn’t been the case in Russia. In fact, the opposite holds true.

Primarily fueled by the sharing of unclean injecting equipment and compounded by one of worst tuberculosis epidemics in the world, the Ministry of Health has maintained its hostility towards ‘Western’ or ‘foreign’ evidence-based practices and prevention methods which could save a generation of young Russians and prevent the further spread of HIV. Many small-scale local-level projects were funded not by domestic sources by but international agencies such as the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. Distributing clean paraphernalia and informational materials on safer sex and drug use, providing counseling and social support services to those who had no where else to turn, and delivering training seminars to local-level healthcare professionals to introduce international experiences and human rights-based approaches have helped immensely. Yet, as obvious as it might be, Russia is huge and reaching every corner without governmental support is impossible. Furthermore, as the funding from international sources has dried up, many of those local-level initiatives have had to close and left a gaping hole for those least accepted and cared for in Russian society.

It’s quite simply heartbreaking.

Much of our news in the West focuses on the Russian elections. However, there are many other unheard stories, both of unimaginable determination and heroism, as well as of tragedy and despair. The Andrey Rylkov Foundation has made it their mission to work towards a humane and just approach to drug use and fight for the rights of those who most need it, and listen to and respond to those most ignored. Engaging with drug users, they provide harm reduction services in and around Moscow. They also work to highlight the extreme positions of the Russian government towards drug treatment and harm reduction strategies which have been proven to help prevent HIV. Spend 20 minutes from your day and watch this video about what they do and why.

Is there hope? There must be. Is failure an option? Not really. Life in Russia is not easy. But, working with individuals who are considered social outcasts, undesirable, and many perceive the best solution is to simply ‘let them die’ is unimaginably difficult. But, it’s well-worth the struggle if it improves the conditions for even a few individuals at a time.

So, as insignificant as it may be, I just want to thank Anya and all those who continue to do this type of work. Keep fighting the good fight!

Extra-ordinarily (un)common

by in Africa, HIV, Inspiration and tagged , , | Leave a comment

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about things which used to seem exceptionally extra-ordinary that have become rather banal and common.

What started this train of thought was the tragic story of a young man from the UK who summited Mount Everest but ultimately died on the mountain after suffering from blindness and not being able to climb down unaided. Rather than risk the lives of the entire team, he was left to die alone on the highest peak in the world.

Many have died there undoubtedly. But, what struck me was how many actually attempt to summit Everest each year now and how many of them die in the process. It seems to me that attempting a super-human feat such as summitting the highest peak on the planet should not be a goal undertaken by just anyone.

But another story of ordinary individuals attempting and succeeding in exta-ordinary feats also serves to inspire me.

Recently, several individuals from a South African-based organisation called Positive Heroes ran an 89-km marathon. What made this such an amazing tale is that all of the individuals are HIV-positive. Further, this was not their first time running the marathon and they’ve managed to incorporate the rigid routine of taking their anti-retrovirals during the marathon.

These are truly positive heroes. They demonstrate in an extra-ordinary way the amazing feats that ordinary individuals can aspire to and use as inspiration to others.

Congratulations to the ultra-marathon runners on their success and victory! And, many thanks for demonstrating the true meaning of extra-ordinary.